Early on we chose to share our story, share our pain. This was therapeutic for us in some ways; like the guy who will lift up his shirt (with little encouragement) to show his puckered surgical scar. The retelling helps integrate this massive body insult into his reality. We have told the story of Morgan’s murder at the drop of a hat for some of the same reasons. In the recitation we hear ourselves and begin to accept the unfathomable – Morgan was brutally murdered.
The intentionality of it bothers me so. How/why could anyone hurt her? On purpose? If someone had run over her, I would be trying to give forgiveness for a terrible accident. I know Morgan was killed deliberately. I am not in a place of withholding forgiveness. I haven’t gotten that far. My mind still cannot accept, cannot conceive of a reality where someone could actually kill.
What an abomination.