July 10, 2012
Pondering the Ocean
Fate has delivered us an immutable roadblock. I can sit here for the rest of my days and stew over why I cannot have the life I had anticipated, or I can detour and find a new way, even prosper by so doing. It is a choice; switch of perspective. You can feel like a “whack a mole game” or you can decide to feel like a blade that is being honed to strike for good.
Morgan, your death has caused me to strengthen my spiritual struts, to reaffirm my thoughts and cognition. This hideous murder has forced us to change. We attempt to use the loss and pain to break through and awaken. I am learning how to deal with this sad, messy, unsanitized life. Love it all. That is the difficult but necessary response.
Relinquish old expectations, secure in the belief that love always shows up. Pain can serve as a vehicle that allows for love’s transformation. I see the lesson in the sandy beach of the Outerbanks. The beautiful sand and undulating dunes are actually a compilation of massive destruction. So many individual shells pummeled and pounded until at some point they no longer resemble conch, clam or scallop but leave behind a singular identity and become beach. A mysterious process as redemption follows demolition. I accept the lesson; even in the face of the ultimate challenge of your hideous death, Morgan. Life, growth and love are coming around again.