Back from the beach trip. It was our first vacation without Morgan. It was hard, especially for Dan. Both of them shared a love of the surf and waves and would stay immersed for hours. I miss seeing them play in the waves laughing. I miss watching freckles bloom on her nose. I miss anointing pinked sunburned skin with Noxzema. I miss combing out her tangled hair. I miss sand in the bed. I miss Morgan.
As you can see my surrender and submit got up and went. I am back, stuck in the whys and what ifs and have lost my “it is” perspective. Suffering has unmoored and set us adrift at sea; a sea of tears whose very salinity will give us the buoyancy we need to stay afloat.
I don’t love where we are but still believe that we have an opportunity to learn from the master teacher, pain, if only we can survive the lesson.
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There is much on the internet about the stages of grief…. I don’t think grief can be categorized into stages or put into neat little compartments like all the experts claim. Grief ebbs and flows…. like waves in the ocean. I feel so deeply for you Gil, Dan and Alex…