Back from the beach trip. It was our first vacation without Morgan.  It was hard, especially for Dan.  Both of them shared a love of the surf and waves and would stay immersed for hours.  I miss seeing them play in the waves laughing.  I miss watching freckles bloom on her nose.  I miss anointing pinked sunburned skin with Noxzema.  I miss combing out her tangled hair. I miss sand in the bed.  I miss Morgan.

As you can see my surrender and submit got up and went.  I am back, stuck in the whys and what ifs and have lost my “it is” perspective. Suffering has unmoored and set us adrift at sea; a sea of tears whose very salinity will give us the buoyancy we need to stay afloat.

I don’t love where we are but still believe that we have an opportunity to learn from the master teacher, pain, if only we can survive the lesson.

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One Response to “Gil Harrington’s thoughts from July 12th, 2010”

  1. Laura says:

    There is much on the internet about the stages of grief…. I don’t think grief can be categorized into stages or put into neat little compartments like all the experts claim. Grief ebbs and flows…. like waves in the ocean. I feel so deeply for you Gil, Dan and Alex…

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