What is compelling about loss is that we know that everyone will at some time be challenged by its touch.  Folks are looking for a road map, not answers per se, but the suggestion of a route to take, to traverse that rough terrain when their turn inevitable comes up.

When disaster like Morgan’s murder occurs, your life is shattered.  You become addled and disoriented. Logic and experience no longer point to a direction you can follow.

That is precisely the place where you can either choose to break or surrender.  When you are so overwhelmed by grief that you throw it in and yield.  This is the point where transfiguration and grace happens.

If I have any advice or wisdom to pass along to others confronting devastating loss, it would be to surrender to this mystery of faith more easily than I have done. I have stubbornly clung to my charade of control and wrestle often with “why” and “how can it be?”

I find my bearings and comfort only when I step on the fragile tenuous platform of my faith.  Persistently returning to the knowledge that God is in this experience somewhere. Only good can come from this because God is here.  Trust that God’s plan is good. Surely the presence is in this place, love is in this place, healing is in this place; renewal and growth are in this place.

I am finding a path though I still have a long way to go.  I can sense that I have grown, not grateful for the experience yet, but finding some acceptance. Life is intended for good.  Don’t succumb to doubt and fear. God will take care of us. This may not be what we wanted but something good will come from it and has come from it.

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5 Responses to “Gil Harrington’s thoughts from July 21st, 2010”

  1. Karen from C'ville says:

    Recently, I saw just a glimpse of the evil that walks the earth and I am still having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. God is in the equasion somewhere, but I have yet to understand how He fits in to the picture. I often ask why God can’t just intervene when one of His creatures are being attaccked. I can only guess it has something to do with free will-but then why does the victim not get to exert their free will in those times? I pray to God that some day; some moment in time, we will have have the answers. I can honestly say that right now it feels like evil is winning here on Earth but deep down I know that evil’s reign will be short lived. All I can do is pray-pray for all that is good on Earth.

  2. tcaros says:

    Along with the glimpse of the evil that walks the earth, we have young women who do not act responsibly, a society that glamorous bad behaviour and sexuality without morals.

    Recently, they found a 23 year-old female dead in a vacant lot in Camden. It took 2 weeks to find her body. One man claims she was doing drugs the last time she was seen. She didn’t deserve to die, but she had risky behaviour and put herself in harms way by doing that. Linday Lohan, a 21 year old actress is in prison for violating parole, crashing her car while drunk, and doing drugs.

    What are we “teaching” our young people with ingoring risky and immoral behaviour?

    It’s not the behaviour that kills them, but it certainly puts them in the sights of that “glimpse of evil” walking the earth.

    I think some “honest talking about responsibility and teaching our young men/women to return to values” could go a long way.

    Natalee Holloway is another example of how parents give in to the requests to party on spring break without realizing we have really evil people who prey on situations.

  3. sandra says:


    It’s not the victims fault…how would teaching values change anything. These “victims” are being grabbed in broad daylight by evil monsters…it’s not their dress or if they have been drinking….BROAD DAYLIGHT. It’s these monsters that need to be locked up and never see the light of day again. You seem to be of the opinion that they put themselves in harm’s way…not so….

  4. sandra says:

    Also, it’s not just young adults being taken it’s these young children…everyday. What do you think they do to deserve this…a young girl/boy 6 years old? No one deserves it. Anyone should be able to go anywhere and “evil” not be lurking. Morgan did nothing wrong….

  5. tcaros says:

    I grew up in the 70’s and I can remember very clearly my parents telling us with a stern look “Never hitchhike and never get in anyone’s car that you don’t know.” I’m sure all females are told to be aware of the surroundings and never walk alone at night if you can avoid it. The Fairfax abduction and assault occurred when a woman was walking, alone, at 10:30PM down a road. Does that tell you something about how this killer preys?

    Natalee Holloway disappeared during a night of binge drinking and partying on spring break. I’m not blaming the victim by pointing out that “risky behaviour” presents the opportunity for some evil, deranged person to commit a crime. In the case here it was truly an evil person that is responsible, but what can we learn?

    Lindsay Lohan is a 20-something who thinks it’s okay to drink, have relations with other women, and generally disregard the laws and drive her car into a telephone pole. Is she the role model? We better ask our daughter’s about that?

    Natelee’s mother is not unlike most today who A) want their child to be happy. B) want their child to be popular and socially accepted. They want this so much more than good grades or good common sense that they’ll let them go off somewhere to “party it up with friends.” All the while they’ll hope everything will be okay. The problem is the kids want to “take risks” in order to feel cool or be in with the crowd. These risks increase the possibility of being a victim. Don’t ever accept a drink from a stranger or one that you didn’t order or see poured. Do your kids believe this?

    I blame JPJ security for not allowing Morgan back inside. That put her in harms way. They are liable for manslaughter. They may have well just put her on that road hitchhiking since her keys were inside with the friends. And what about these friends? Who leaves a friend behind? Maybe that’s how our kids think today- or that she had hooked up with someone and would call the next day. The bad decisions can’t be changed, but we can learn from this- even after we find this killer.

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