We are at the beach in North Carolina, a long standing tradition; 31 years for Dan, and a chance to reconnect with family, both biologic and chosen.
It is early yet; we have only been here for 24 hours. Our friends still feel a bit awkward with us. They do not quite know how to interact with our triangulated family; to speak of Morgan or not? Which action would bring the most pain? There is no definite answer. Both choices bring pain and so we perform a funny dance wandering around the place where our shiny golden girl would have been, lighting up the room.
We are indebted to those who love us and who loved Morgan, to enter into this sorrowful, uncomfortable place with us. They help us find our way to a new normal, and new traditions. Synthesis is tough.
We want what we had, but it is no more. We have been forced to move on; sometimes kicking and screaming, and occasionally with eager anticipation to move forward and make a life. At least we still have a life- unlike our precious Morgan.
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