Thursday, Dan and I traveled to Blacksburg to speak at the VT Take Back the Night Rally. This message of safety for women and children has always been important to us, but now in the face of Morgan’s murder it is pivotal to our belief structure. Somehow we have tacitly given acceptance that it’s OK in America for men to prey upon half of the population. Our exaggerated culture of self has reintroduced a primitive Darwinian way of life – survival of the fittest, each one for himself. Most civilized societies pride themselves on their level of integration and complexity of connections, NOT how an individual can place his own needs and urges paramount.
I am not a great mind to really understand and dissect how this has come to pass, only know it must stop and no longer be tolerated. Part of the change process is awareness and repudiation of social mores that encourage the continued violence and predition against women. The Take Back the Night Rally focuses attention on the problem and encourages change to occur.
Morgan Harrington should have been safe in the JPJ parking lot. She was NOT asking for it. She was NOT provocatively dressed, no cleavage and nothing tight. In fact the only skin she had hanging out was her beautiful face. Do we need to become a burka society here? Or can men learn not to vanquish women as disposable objects? I believe that they can and should. A campaign to limit violence is really basic, the lowest common denominator. Our mandate should be respect, cherish. But it is a beginning, so lets start here.
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I’m so sorry for the way some people are behaving. The message boards in the paper make me sick…..as though Morgan is somehow responsible for what happened simply by being there. I hope you find some peace in knowing that the vast majority of Charlottesville has grieved with you, and we continue to.
Dear Gil, Dan and Alex. I have been following Morgan’s plight since the day that she went missing. I have only posted once when Gil posted Morgan’s essay on gardening. I loved that essay. That was when I had such high hopes that Morgan would be found. I have five children myself, four of them in college, two daughters who are going to be teachers… like Morgan. I have three sons. I have read on these blogs numerous people talking about how we need to teach our daughters to protect themselves, to be aware of their surroundings and to look after one another. I have tried to teach my daughters that … but you know they are totally trusting and never believe that anyone would hurt them. I have been wanting to emphasize also the responsibility of we as parents to teach our SONS to respect women. I have told my sons over and over that they are to respect women, to keep control of themselves and to stay away from evil at all costs. I hope and pray that they listen to me. All of my children know about Morgan’s plight. It breaks my heart that someone took your child away from you. That they hurt her in such a brutal way. They took her away from this world where she was going to do so much good. She was going to be a teacher and children loved her. She wanted to help people who were less fortunate and downtrodden. The world needed Morgan. The fact that the State of Virginia and UVA are downplaying this horrific event disgusts me. It makes no difference whether Morgan knew this person well, didn’t know this person at all, knew this person a little, was in an altered state, what she was wearing (which by the way was totally appropriate and more modest than most outfits I have seen go to a concert), was walking alone, was walking with someone. None of that makes any difference. Someone brutally MURDERED this young woman. There is some monster out there who has somehow condoned her MURDER in his own eyes in some way. He will do it again. For the State of VA and UVA not to issue a severe warning to students, women and people in general in the Charlottesville community is absolutely unconscienable. I have noticed that there is a very disproportionate number of dead people showing up in Virginia. I think that all of us around the country need to stand up and decide not to send our children to colleges in Virginia until this predator(s) is caught and justice is brought to Morgan and others who have also been preyed upon. We need to stop filling out and sending in applications. This may be the only way to make the state and the university become more proactive. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish so much that there was something that I could do to lesson your grief. Know that there are still many of us out here around the country telling Morgan’s story … and maybe in some way that will help to save some other young woman someday.
Well said, Gil. Stick by your convictions. They are absolutely correct. Regardless of how Morgan was dressed, her safety should have been assured. She was a beautiful young woman who loved looking pretty and trying out “her” style . . . not unlike thousands of other girls her age. Her life should not have been extinguished. Place the blame squarely where it belongs . . . on the one(s) who preyed on a defenseless girl and took her life.
Gil,
I understand your frustration, but how do we know if the killer is a “he” when the cornoner has not released any evidence or cause of death? Would you be surprised if it was a “hit and run” while she was hitchhiking.
Also, a person usually becomes a victim when they present themselves as vulnerable to attack. Unfortunately, “this is” part of our history. To say your daughter should have been safe in the parking lot is a true statement, but when you add in the facts that she was “intoxicated,” “upset,” and “hitch-hiking” then we have a different paradigm here. She didn’t deserve it and the person(s) who took her life are definitely to blame, but she did present herself as vulnerable to an attack. That’s the truth.
Now if you say a person should be safe hitchhiking while intoxicated and female- that may be true idealistically, but reality is that we teach ourselves differently. We teach ourselves this is not a good thing to do.
I’m sorry for your loss and I am baffled at the police, coroner, her friends, and JPG security. There is something strange going on here. Maybe, when you have all the answer we can become aware of what really happened that night.
Gil you are right she should have been able to go out, leave the arena. She wan’t asking for it, no one does.
Dear Gil and Dan,
Can you give me the time that your dear daughter was born? I only ask this because I have been following a web site(webslethleuths) and they have forensic astrologers there that are surprisingly accurate. They need her exact time of birth to do some kind of “chart”. My heart goes out to you and your family and maybe I am just grasping at straws here, but who knows? My prayers are with you.
Much love
Dawn
Morgan, should have been safe, as well as all women young and old should be safe from the deranged individuals who infect our society like an insidious disease. Its time the judicial system says ENOUGH and shop protecting the rights of the offender only to disregard the rights of the victims. Write your representatives. The only way to change the laws is with the legislatures. If they don’t listen, vote them out of office.
Thank you so much for coming to speak and support this event. It was an honor speaking with you.
Zero tolerance is the only acceptable policy when it comes to violent crime against any person, regardless of age, gender or appearance. And once caught, these monsters should not have the option of rehabilitation or parole. Not only have we given tacit acceptance of crime, we have let them know that having committed a heinous crime, second chances will or can be granted. There is no second chance for taking the life of a beautiful girl. There is no tolerance. And they should be lucky if there is any mercy.
There are those people who would like to use tragedies such as presented her to dismantle our rights and protections as individuals.
That would be the wrong course to solving the problem.
Forgive me forgetting what news station it was, but I remember seeing you being asked by a reporter, “What advice would you give to parents of young girls about safety” or something to that effect. Your response was fantastic. You did not entertain the notion of “victimhood” nor did you offer advice as if any advice could be given. You simply said “The larger issue at hand is a culture of violence where men consider women prey.” That IS the real issue here.
I followed this story up in NYC because Morgan reminded me a lot of myself. And with your answer to that reporter, you reminded me of myself as well. Please do not let your suffering cloud your love. That love is needed in this world. The darkness in others is momentary. Love is eternal.