I was the recipient of much extra love and support yesterday on Mother’s Day. Folks anticipated that I might have a tough time as I relinquished my role as mother to Morgan. But, I haven’t done so yet- and the day was really fine.
Mothering has always involved caring for, not just caring about my kids. The multitude of tasks I do for my family are manifestations of love and caring and I have enjoyed them as such. Brushing out tangles from Morgan’s long hair, packing lunches, hot banana bread, filling up her gas tank, mountains of laundry, these Mother’s chores are a daily, tangible, and practical demonstration of my love.
I cannot surrender my role as mom to Morgan just yet. That day will come and I know I will mourn the closing of that part of my life. But right now my job of parenting and protecting is not done, Morgan is asking for, demanding the biggest task ever: find her murderer. I still have work to do for my little girl.
As long as this last obligation remains, I hold fiercely to my role as Morgan’s mom. When she has justice I will concede to being mother of one, but not one second before.