We have lived in this home for almost 20 years.  Morgan came to this house as a babe in arms and learned how to walk here with her soft baby feet, tip toeing around.

In the considerable span of our occupation we have had only a few episodes of bird interaction.  I think I can remember two or three times a small sparrow got through the door to our screened deck and had to be redirected back to the doorway and freedom.   That is really about it for the bird contact here.  I do put out seed for the pleasure of watching the birds eat and realize, as I do, the decadence of the ritual as human beings in Zambia would be most pleased to have the sustenance of this throw away food.

That has been the extent of my interaction with birds here; I feed, I watch with pleasure as they eat, (in truth the squirrels mostly eat but they are beautiful and worth watching also).  About two months ago, it started happening – bird strikes, frequent and relentless!  Mourning doves slamming into the windows of the house; pressed on the glass over my kitchen sink is the imprint of a cushioned downey bird’s breast and outstretched wings. – an otherworldly Rorschach of desperation.

At first I felt uneasy that it happened so much; birds pelting the house with their bodies.  I would buff off the eerie smudges their impact left from every window. I never find any bodies under the window point of contact but our house is festooned by the marks.  Our living room window has the 2 4 1 dots on it in reflective discs; five bird strikes prints circle the 2 4 1 emblem.

This phenomenon was disturbing to me until a wise friend explained, “of course it is happening and no, it is not Morgan at the window crashing into the glass seeking re-entry, but it is a type of Morgan energy still present and reactive. You cannot stop yourself from the heart cry of searching and pleading you put out as Morgan’s parents any more than the birds can stop themselves from responding.  The visceral gut level screeching summons you emanate must be answered by the universe in some way.”

I see bird strikes. I understand and am grateful but wish instead that the very rocks and tress would rise up and move to spit out the abomination, poison, of a monster who wrung the life from our golden bird, Morgan Dana Harrington

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10 Responses to “Gil Harrington’s thoughts from October 10th, 2010”

  1. Karen from C'ville says:

    Mrs. Harrington,

    For the first time, I looked at the gallery photos. Your daughter is so artistically gifted-wow! You look so happy in the photos of you and your daughter. In some place and time, you will experience that freedom and happiness again. Your daugher was such a beautiful baby girl. Love, Love the first picture of her on your page:)

    I think your friend is right: There is some energy force at work that is drawing the birds to your place. There is great unsettlement, unrest, and imbalance. Remember, out of chaos-comes stabilization. All in due time, justice will be served.

  2. sandra says:

    I am always amazed when I read stories like what is happening with the birds. I wouldn’t be so sure it’s not Morgan….just finding a way to say I’m still here. I just seems to me it has to be some part of her that is not ready to leave until justice is done. I also think she has to find a way to let you know she is still here because she can feel your pain, as well. What better way than what is happening at your house. I think when justice is done she will rest.

  3. ann says:

    Noticing the Salamander on the lapel of your jacket, and reading this message indicates how truthfully and powerfully you are searching for healing for Morgan and for yourselves.

    As your wise friend said, the Universe has to respond.

    Thinking of you and wishing for your continued strength at this time.

  4. Sue says:

    Gil,
    Just stopping by to let the Harrington family know that they have been in my thoughts as the one year mark of the disappearance and death of their shiny girl approaches. I have been without my own shiny girl for over 13 years now. It amazes me that I have survived this long without her. I once heard a bereaved father say that ‘it is possible to survive the death of a child, but it is the living that is so difficult.’ So very true. My Amanda was 3 months away from turning 20 when she died, just about Morgan’s age, so that is one of the reasons I have been so drawn to Morgan’s story.

    I pray that justice comes for Morgan one day and the monster(s) responsible for snuffing out her bright light pays dearly. When that day comes, that ‘living’ thing will become a bit easier for you, Dr. Harrington and Alex.

  5. Jill says:

    Thinking of you as the anniversary date draws so close…Praying for resolution, for justice, and for whatever measure of peace one can receive out of such a horrible tragedy! Your blog-writing has such depth and raw emotion – maybe someday you could have them put into book form. This is just my opinion, but your writing could be of great comfort and guidance to others who, unfortunately and so wrongly, have to go through the suffering that your family is going through. I am praying also that whoever stole Morgan’s life from her is convicted by God every single day and minute of his life, that he will have no peace, no measure of happiness until he confesses and turns himself into the authorities. I believe that God can do all things and I pray He will work on this person’s heart and mind so greatly that suffering the consequences of his actions will be the only thing that matters to him and that he will turn himself in before any harm comes to any others. God bless your family!

  6. Tonya says:

    Jill I was a member of the forum here for a long time. I keep all of you in prayer. My heart breaks when I read this family blog. May God be with you and your whole family. Praying that Justice comes soon. Morgan has touched so many lives including my own and I never even knew her. We will all meet her again someday and then it will be a celebration never to be separated again. Until then her Spirit lives on in the hearts of thousands of people. God bless. Tonya.

  7. tcaros says:

    I watched the Lovely Bones on cable. If we want to teach our children anything it is listening to the “little pinch” that tells them something is not right. The girl in the movie, Suzie Samon, feels that pinch when she’s walking home and her neighbor asks her to see something he’s created. Initially, she say’s no, but the killer uses guile by saying “Okay” and then laying the trap saying “anyway, I’m going to show the other kids in the neighborhood.”
    The acting and directing in this movie are pretty good. Suzie then ignores the pinch that something is wrong with this invite, maybe she is convinced by his words, because if other kids are going to be invited there’s nothing wrong. It’s heartbreaking to watch this happen and realize how real it is.

    We teach our children not to talk to strangers. In the case of Natalee Holloway.. she was 18 and went to Aruba to drink and party on spring break. She was likely convinced in the same way to ignore “the pinch.” Her case may have involved drugs and alcohol. While these people are not to blame for what happened.. it is likely that they ignored “the pinch” that may have saved their lives.

    Even Beth Twitty had the pinch before she let Natalee go to Aruba as an 18 year old on spring break.

    If we teach anything.. it should be not to.

  8. alexandra says:

    Dear Gil,
    The same mystery surrounding the birds, must be the same force that keep so many very emotionally attached to Morgan and her dear family. I am one of those people. Morgan has become very important to me and I will not rest until she has justice. Stay strong. We will wait with you, right here, as long as it takes.
    Love and peace
    Alexandra

  9. Julie says:

    Gil,
    I am so glad Morgan’s website is back up and running!
    2~4~1

  10. Barbara says:

    Gil,
    My heart goes out to you and your family every time I think of you and Morgan, which is quite often. When I open your website, again which is quite often, my heart again tugs painfully. I don’t know why I am so drawn to you and family….maybe because I’m a mother….maybe because my sister and her husband lost a son at age 23 and although it was a traffic accident I have seen first hand their suffering and can only imagine how magnified is your pain in how you lost Morgan. I pray and am certain her murderer will be found and justice served. I agree with Alexandra about the birds and the force that keeps so many of us attached emotionally to her case.

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